Happy three-week anniversary, everyone! In honor of the first 21 days of the Trump administration’s honeymoon phase and the upcoming greeting card-industrial complex’s sanctioned Day o’Lovin’®, we’re going to give you a helping hand with presents – and shout out to one of the biggest unsung winners of 2017 at the same time: booksellers and publishers. Here’s a handy-dandy list of what used to be called dystopian fiction, but can now be found in the Self-Help section, assuming that there is replenished stock. (h/t: Bex Taylor-Klaus)

Before you rush out to satisfy the bibliophile in your life, here are this week’s Winners & Losers:

 

WINNERS

Daylin Leach: If you ever need to provide someone with an example of pro-level trolling, simply refer to the state senator’s viral tweet to President Trump this week. Incensed by the president’s not-so-veiled threat to an unnamed Texas state lawmaker opposing civil-asset forfeiture, Leach told Trump to come after him instead, using the not-at-all incendiary descriptive phrase “fascist, loofa-faced, shit-gibbon” to describe the Commander-in-Chief. Leach’s turn of phrase would be the week’s clear winner for “Most likely to turn up on a T-shirt or coffee mug” if not for the senior senator from Kentucky.

 

John Perzel: the convicted former PA Rep., who once served as Speaker of the House, won an appeal before the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania over $1 million in court-ordered restitution. He was ordered to repay the sum to the commonwealth following his guilty plea to felony conspiracy and conflict of interest charges in 2011.

 

Bill Peduto: Pittsburgh’s mayor, who ran for office under the reformer mantle, found out that the city’s Ethics Hearing Board decided not to probe the fundraising activities of his chief of staff on his behalf. A huge W for Peduto, and just as large an L for Councilwoman Darlene Harris, who asked the board to investigate and who, coincidentally, is looking to unseat Peduto this year.

 

LOSERS

Seth Williams: Philadelphia’s district attorney held a hastily arranged press conference to announce that he would not be running for re-election this year, bowing to the reality of the accumulated negative impact of seemingly nonstop news about undisclosed gifts.

 

Kelvyn Anderson: The longtime citizen police reformer, who served as executive director of Philadelphia’s Police Advisory Commission before abruptly stepping down this month, was accused of having an improper sexual relationship with a woman who sought his help through the commission.

 

Pennsylvania State Police: We’re not naming names here, because the agency’s cheating scandal and pallid response is an encompassing one, including the troopers who cheated on tests, the instructors who helped the troopers cheat, and the administration that has so far avoided any type of confidence-restoring housecleaning.