Welcome to another week simply awash in effluence. Trying to choose what fresh hell to parse is like Bizzarro WorldSophie’s Choice”: “Me want all to die, me love them so much!”

Do you want to go with the Upside Down tax reform bill, which would penalize graduate students and adoptive families while rewarding purchasers of private jets?

What about the depressingly bipartisan nature of the sexual harassment and abuse revelation epidemic, now with more Democrat? Bonus: Everyone’s favorite drunk uncle weighed in, immediately drawing facepalms from handlers and target practice from critics and accusers.

We could always go to the latest episode of “The Jefferson Sessions,” a tragicomedy where selective amnesia leads to both looming constitutional crises and big, not horrifically inappropriate laffs at all.

Instead, let’s just focus on something positive like health care as we currently know it. The Affordable Care Act open enrollment period is still going on and will continue through Dec. 15. Spread the word, pass the link along and help drive the numbers up – some 1.46 million signups as of earlier this week, a 46 percent increase over last year – despite the Trump administration’s best worst efforts to obfuscate and dissuade people from getting affordable health care.

 

WINNERS

Mount Airy Casino Resort: Thanks to some enterprising yet anonymous legislator, the Poconos casino was granted a buffer zone unlike any other gaming establishment in the state in the gaming expansion bill that helps balance the state budget. The zone will ensure Mount Airy is the casino closest to vacationing New Yorkers. But why do you suppose the enterprising lawmaker wanted to remain nameless?

Rick Saccone: After two rounds of voting, state GOP leadership chose the state Rep. as their candidate to run in the March 13 special election to replace disgraced US Rep. Tim Murphy, who resigned last month.

David Freed: The Cumberland County DA was confirmed by the US Senate to become the next US Attorney for the Middle District of Pennsylvania.

 

LOSERS

Justin Simmons: Another week, another state lawmaker who sees attendance and voting as more suggestion than obligation. Simmons, who’s running for Charlie Dent’s congressional seat, has missed some 500 votes in Harrisburg since being elected in 2011.

Terminally ill Pennsylvanians: A bill in the PA Senate that would allow someone to help a person commit suicide if that person suffers from an incurable condition has been stuck in limbo since January.

Eugene Gallagher: The former Taylor Councilman, who resigned following his admission of forgery, faces charges of choking a woman who threatened to report him for violating his probation.